Satan's Spray

In eighth grade (yes, for those of you following along, this was less than a year after the unfortunate mayonnaise incident) I committed an even bigger beauty sin – I used Sun-In.

For anyone not familiar with this product, it’s a liquid that you spray onto your hair that promises to give you (and this is a direct quote from their company’s website) “the same natural highlights you get from the sun - only FASTER!” (And before we go any further here, I have to acknowledge the fact that when I Googled it, I was shocked that this product still exists today. I really thought it went the way of frosted pink lipstick and bedazzled acid-washed jean jackets, but apparently I was wrong). The company also says that the spray “Lightens and brightens blonde hair, making it blonder. Brunettes lighten up and look sun-bronzed and kissed by the sun.” This is a lie. This is a big lie. This is like a Tom Cruise “I LOVE this woman” lie.

What Sun-In actually does is turn your hair orange, after it makes it so dry and brittle that pieces just start breaking off at random. I had long, light brown hair that somehow turned the color of old circus peanuts after I sprayed on the Sun-In. And I know I didn’t use it wrong because every single girl I talked to who bought this product had a similar experience.

The orange hair isn’t the saddest part of the story though. That comes when I was forced to get my hair cut to my chin because the color was so appalling and the damage was so bad. I also repeatedly refused my mother’s pleas to just let her take me to a salon and have them dye it back because, as I told her, “Then everyone in school will know I colored my hair.” (What the hell was I thinking? Did I not realize I’d probably already clued them in to that when my hair went from brown to orange overnight? Apparently I was very stupid when I was younger). My favorite memory from this time involved my family driving out of the Lincoln Tunnel to see a bunch of hookers strolling around 42nd Street (this was before the Disney-fication of Times Square) only to have my Dad innocently comment, “Hey, that woman’s hair is almost the same color as yours.” I think that says it all. I’m sending you my therapy bills, Dad.

Now I’m willing to admit that I’m commenting on the Sun-In product that I knew back in eighth grade, so to be fair, I don’t know that the formula in 2006 isn’t better. But somehow I doubt it, because I don’t think that a product that includes the words “Stun your parents” as a selling point on their website puts too much money into product development. Just a hunch.

Comments

[Jane Cooley]

First Time Poster /Reader

Oh Dear, I cannot tell yhou the memories that this brought back. I was one of those who used it when it first came out, ( yes..I am over 50) and with s reddish tint to my natural hair, I turned Lucy Ricardo Red. I can still remember the way my hair felt and the tears. You would think that I would have learned..Years later the fake Neutogena spray on tanner did the same to my skin.

Mayo..been there. Are we related ?

Have a great day.

[Sarah]

OMG I haven't laughed this hard in a while! I saw this in stores when I was in Europe - who knew there was still a market for this toxic waste for hair.

[MissDanvers]

Yes! You have hit a nerve with anyone who is 30+! I remember having such a similar experience to yours - its frightening! OMG! You had me ROTL LMAO. Thanks for this trip down memory lane.

[Best Hair Dryer]

Yeah I'm not even sure that Sun-In is still around any more. This is too funny! I bet there are half a million people in the US who have a similar story as yours (except maybe not the hookers on Times Square part).

[home drug test]

Surely your thoughts seem to be useful and inspiring. Thanks for such an informative blog. In any case I agree with all what you tell.