When I was in the seventh grade, I read an article in one of my teen magazines that suggested a moisturizing mask for hair. Made up of mayonnaise. It promised to make my hair shiny and full, and when you’re thirteen years old with straight, limp locks and a school dance coming up, that’s a no-brainer.
So I dutifully measured out half a cup of Hellmann’s and worked it into my hair, making sure to coat every piece, like the instructions said. It was slimy and I smelled like a sandwich shop, but I was picturing the compliments I would get when I waltzed into homeroom the next morning, so I held my breath, wrapped my head in a towel to let the mask penetrate (for full shine potential), and waited it out.
Thirty minutes later, I got in the shower, ready to wash the mayo out and assume my rightful position as a supermodel. So I shampooed. And shampooed. And shampooed some more. My hair still felt kind of slippery, but I figured that was just the steam from the shower and got out – only to scream in horror when I looked in the mirror and saw the grease pit that was currently perched atop my head. My hair looked like I’d dipped it in a vat of Crisco. I immediately jumped back in the shower and shampooed until the bottle was empty. It didn’t matter. Nothing I scrubbed my head with even put a dent in the oil slick that was my hair.
I tried to convince my parents to let me stay home from school, but they didn’t go for it. So for the next two weeks, my outfits included a lot of hats and ponytails and tons of Giorgio Beverly Hills perfume (my favorite in junior high) to mask the faint scent of mayo that seemed permanently stuck to me. Unfortunately, the perfume wasn’t enough to fool my dog, who started following me around with a confused look on his face.
It took around 16 days for the mayo to wash completely out of my hair. And to add insult to injury, for all my suffering, my hair didn’t look one bit better when it finally de-greased. In fact, the constant shampooing made it dry and gave me split ends, so it actually looked worse. Not exactly a junior high memory I like to relive.
The moral of the story? Make sure you test out any beauty products you aren’t completely sure of on a small section of your body before you fully apply. Well, either that or don’t put condiments on your head. It’s just a bad idea, no matter what the magazine says.
All of these stories remind me of me in my teens! I assumed the name of 'Penny' in 9th grade and that would be short for "Bright, Brand New Copper Penny". Which was the color of my hair after using Sun-In on my brunette hair. I am now a blonde and have been for years...however it costs about 100 bucks every 6 weeks. So what's that old "MOTO" "If something, sounds too good to be true, it probably it"!
Posted by: Heidi Zeigler | March 22, 2009 at 07:25 PM
He he :0 It's funny the things we do when we're young. Just the other day I caught my son trying to shave in my new Steam Shower. I caught him just in time to show him that his left eyebrow was gone. Crying soon entailed and I think it was because his mother was gonna be maaaaad! At me for leaving the razor in reach of a 4 yr old and him for shavin his brow.
Posted by: Daryl Ingle | June 08, 2009 at 01:57 PM